I always thought football would enter Tool of the Year at some point, but I didn’t expect it to be a manager.
Enter Harry ‘Al Capone’ Redknapp, the saggy-faced Tottenham manager who is in court over suspected tax evasion. Redknapp claims that he had ‘forgotten’ about a bank account in Monaco, which was apparently opened by Milan Mandaric and was coincidentally named after his dog and his year of birth.
It is claimed that Redknapp accepted cash from Mandaric for transfers during their time at Portsmouth and deposited it straight into the Monaco account, which he didn’t know he had, without paying any tax on it, but Harry denies any wrong doing.
Now the tax office have caught up with him, Lord Harry of the Cockneys claims he has always paid his taxes, uses the best accountants and would rather pay too much tax than too little.
Yeah right.
Just three points to make on that statement. If you’d always paid your taxes Harry, you wouldn’t be in court would you? Bell end. You always use the best accountants? What the ones who choose to look the other way? And who in their right mind would rather pay too much tax than too little? Yeah and you’d rather hide too much money than too little eh?
But Saggy Face is still adamant he has done nothing wrong. “I’ve never been greedy in my life,” he claims. So why open an account in Monaco, keep it secret but make the ‘occasional’ trip to the principality?
Let’s face it Harry. You messed up, you’ve been caught and now you have to pay. There’s no point in blaming Mandaric for this mess as he will just implicate you further. You might as well own up, admit it all and take the punishment.
But Redknapp isn’t going to do that. He’s a character that’s always right. And when he’s wrong he’s still right.
Harry Redknapp, I’d still do your daughter in law, but you sir, have successfully elevated yourself to a brand new level of dickhead and, in doing so, made yourself a serious contender for Tool of the Year.
May the force be with you
Jedi Master Bob
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