Sunday, 23 December 2012

Van Persie Recovering After Assassination Attempt Failed

Manchester United legend, all round good guy and threat to all women who refuse sex with him Robin van Persie, is recovering tonight after Swansea’s Ashley Williams attempted a blatant and outrageous murder attempt during the two side’s 1-1 draw this afternoon.

Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Grim Reapers In Staff Shortage Crisis In Run Up To Armageddon

The Grim Reaper Service (GRS) have given humanity a glimmer of hope that we may yet be spared Armageddon after senior officials admitted they are ill prepared and are suffering from a severe staff shortage for the once in a lifetime event.