Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Cameron’s Testicles Are Still Exceedingly Small, Say Top Tory MP’s

The size of Prime Minister David Cameron’s testicles have been brought into question as top Tory MP’s claim he just hasn’t got the balls to make big decisions.

Following the ruling by the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR), who stated that the UK are not allowed to deport Abu Qatada from our own soil, the Prime Minster has been gifted a golden opportunity to tell Europe exactly where they can stick their rulings and show them who truly runs this country.

However top Tory MP’s have quashed any notion of Cameron standing up to Europe, stating his testicles are not yet sufficiently grown to make such a stance and even added they may not get much bigger than their current size anyway.

“We examined Mr Cameron’s testicles yesterday,” said one Tory MP this morning. “However we have found that their size is not sufficient for the task of telling Europe to fuck off and keep their pathetic noses out of our business. And the chances are they won’t grow much bigger than they are now. He does have quite a large cock, but Nick prefers the title Deputy Prime Minister.”

However, the Prime Minister’s wife Samantha, has today defending her husbands hairy dangly bits by saying “Listen, those smelly, greasy, wrinkly old bags of skin have produced my children and are perfect in size for me, although Barack’s large hands swamp them somewhat, particularly when he has to squeeze them to keep David in  line.”

Meanwhile, the ruling by the ECHR has been met with glee by Qatada’s blood sucking, money grabbing, piss-poor excuse for lawyers, who are looking forward to defending more suspect terrorists in the future.

“A ten year deportation case has earned us an absolute fucking fortune,” said a spokesman for the vile cretins today. “Satan is going to be absolutely delighted with this result. One day, we will be able to get our souls back. After we have made Britain a terrorist haven, that is.”

May the force be with you

The Fed Up Jedi

Follow me on Twitter if you want @thefedupjedi or Fed Up Jedi's Facebook page

No comments:

Post a Comment