Gove To Allow Parent Extortion To Continue

Education Secretary Michael Gove has made plans to allow holiday companies to extort parents even more than they already do after he promised to ban parents from taking their children on holiday during term time.

Gove is clamping down on unauthorised absences in schools, which is rife as parents look to take advantage of cheap term time holidays, rather than pay the extortionate and quite frankly ridiculous charges holiday companies charge out of term-time.

However Gove rejected any calls to reduce the cost of a holiday outside of term time. “Get fucked,” was his response when asked the question. “Are you all mental or something? Why would we reduce the cost of holidays when we can continue to rip parents off? You’re all insane.”

The cost of a family holiday is raised extortionately high in Britain and Gove’s move will leave parents with no option but to pay the higher cost or face a fine for taking their child out of school early.

“It’s a win-win situation for the government,” said a government official. “And we like it that way. Parents need to know that we control them, not the other way around. It’s like this smacking thing. We tell them they can’t do it so they don’t unless they want to get arrested. It’s a strong message to parents to remind them one thing: We own your arses.”

Holiday companies were said to be rejoicing at the news and many were seen rubbing there hands in anticipation of the profits they can now make. One holiday company said “We always double our prices anyway but this move by Gove means we can charge anything we want and parents have got to pay it. I love this government.”

Those words were emphasised by another holiday company, eager to place further financial pressure on families. “Finally when parents come in and give us a late September date, we can take great joy at telling them they are breaking the law. Well done Michael Gove.”

No parents have made comments on the news due to the fact they are still recovering from being fucked in the arse by another government who have no sense of family values.

May the force be with you

Jedi Master Bob