Thousands of Afghans converged on a US air base in Bagram chanting ‘death to America’ and ‘long live Islam’ after workers from inside the base emerged with the charred pages.
However the Americans have moved quickly in an attempt to quell the protests by explaining that they understood the burnt books were actually the latest pile of shit by Katie Price. “It was an honest mistake,” said a military official. “We knew there was a shed load of Katie Price books that we use for emergency toilet paper and somehow, these copies of the Koran got caught up with them. We are truly sorry.”
And a Pentagon official also apologised for the error and condemned the fact that the air base even contained copies of Price’s poor quality drivel. “To burn copies of an Islamic holy book is inconceivable and we are extremely sorry that this has happened. However I cannot condone the air base storing books written by an airhead such as Katie Price, even if it is only for emergency toilet paper when ninety nine per cent of Brits wouldn’t wipe their arses with that bollocks.”
Bur the apology doesn’t seem to have had much effect on the protests and many believe the Americans are performing yet another cover up. “They’ve done it countless times in the past,” said one Afghan. “Roswell, JFK, Area 51, they were all covered up. They even tried to convince the world that George W Bush was a real president, so to say I’m suspicious is an understatement.”
America have occupied, assisted Afghanistan for the over ten years after the aforementioned Bush invaded arrived to search for Osama Bin Laden, who was supposed to be hiding there. But despite Bin laden being dead and currently polluting the sea he was dumped into, there are still no signs of the invading armies allied forces leaving.
“They came here to find Bin Laden,” commented one onlooker. “But he’s dead and now I think it’s time they left. Even more so if they can’t tell the difference between a book that guides you and a book that leaves you asking the question ‘how the fuck did that ever get published?’”
President Obama was unavailable to comment on the protests or the possibility that he might order the withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan, but a spokesman said “We last saw him retreating at Camp David after taking a delivery of all four Katie Price’s autobiographies. I didn’t know four existed. Has she lived four lives or something? I mean, seriously, why the fuck has she brought out four? Stupid bitch.”
That’s a mystery we all want answering as one was bad enough.
May the force be with you
Jedi master Bob
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