The Football Association are considering introducing a rule aimed at stopping Manchester City winning anything ever again.
The directive gives referees the authority to penalise City for any incident they seem fit, yet completely ignore it should the opposing team commit a similar or worse offence.
An FA spokesman said the new rule would help the FA’s favourite big four clubs, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester United to stay on top of the English game and stop anyone from competing.
The move falls in line with UEFA’s Financial Fair Play Ruling, introduced soon after City were taken over by ADUG, which meant City would not be able to follow in the paths of the afore mentioned teams and buy the players they want, when they want and not giving a particular shit about anyone else.
“UEFA started it and we’re just carrying it on,” said the spokesman. “What we need to do is stop City in their tracks. We tried to do it with the FA Cup last year by drawing them against United, but the knobheads from Old Trafford fucked it up so we’ve got to try a new angle.
We’ve seen over the last few weeks, with penalties and sendings off that referees are getting the message we have been sending out. We now need to formalise this so other teams know we’re on their side.”
And the directive doesn’t just stop on the pitch either. Under terms of the rule, managers of clubs other than City are being encouraged to get City players banned simply by complaining loud enough. “We value managers opinions,” said the spokesman. “Therefore we encourage managers of other clubs to complain very loudly, ideally to the media, and we promise we will act. We like to call it the Harry Redknapp method. You know, crying so loud to the media that we have to act.”
While news of this will come as a further blow to City, Premier League managers up and down the country have welcomed the news. One manager, known only as ‘Taggart from Stretford’ said “this is obviously great news. Anything that can stop them and help us is certainly welcome. I wonder if we can just get City players banned for games they weren’t involved in? It’s worth a shot.”
The move has been prompted by the fact that City remain top of the league despite having key players missing from their side due to suspension or playing in Africa. “I don’t know have they’ve done it,” Taggart continues. “But at least the FA are helping us now and with our twelve man Howard Webb, we’ll stop them.”
City were unavailable to comment but a huge pair of fingers were seen hovering over the Eithad stadium in the direction of Old Trafford this evening.
May the force be with you
Jedi Master Bob
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