Katie Price – The apparent model who has seen more helmets
than Hitler. This pathetic waste of space has been appearing on our screens
like a bad rash for years despite having as much talent as a half eaten, dead
fish. Yet for some reason she seems to keep getting further TV and book deals.
Here’s an idea for a TV series: What Katie did next – one episode, one hour
long about her torturous journey to the edge of a cliff where, at the end of
the episode, she is thrown into a deep abyss, along with all the shit books and
autobiographies she has ‘written.’ She’s the only person in the world with more
air in her head than she has in her lungs.
Twatability – 10 out of 10
Jo Frost – Supernanny they call her. She’s about as super as
a bout of constipation – and just about as welcome too. He ‘methods’ include
‘ignore the bad and praise the good.’ So basically telling kids that they won’t
be shouted at if they draw on the wall as long as they clean it up. What next?
The child stabbed his parents to death but he did clean the mess up afterwards
so we’ll ignore the murder charge. She shot thirty people at the shopping
centre but at least she didn’t re-load her gun and kill thirty more. Carlsberg don’t
do sanctimonious bitches but if they did…
Twatability – 10 out of 10
Margaret Thatcher – The seemingly indestructible bitch from the 1980’s, Thatcher the milk snatcher has been killed more times on Twitter than anyone else. Even the fucking IRA couldn’t get her in 1984 in Brighton. How is she still here? For those who don’t know, she oversaw a huge decline in education, welfare, riots and strikes, which more or less sounds like what David Cameron is overseeing at the moment. But Margaret Thatcher did one good thing for this country – she resigned. As a child from the 80’s I hope this bitch rots in hell with Satan shoving red hot Poll Tax bills right up her arse.
Twatability – Infinity
George W Bush – Once described as having a look like that of
a turtle on a gatepost, George W Bush was the ultimate king in general fuck
ups. His terms, known as Bushisms, became quite renowned during his time in
office, but Bush did something quite remarkable – he got a second term in
office. How shit must his opponent have been if George W Bush, the man who said
2001 was ‘a great year all in all’ just weeks after seeing the world’s biggest
terrorist attack on his country, could defeat him? But despite all the fun you
can have with Bush (steady) you still wouldn’t get bored of twatting the
bastard on a daily basis.
Twatability – 9 out of 10
Abu Hamza – Now here’s one fucker who Britain really does
not miss. Abu Hamza, captain fucking hook himself, should have been kicked out
of Britain years ago but for some reason, he managed to stay here, forcing the
British taxpayer to pay for his legal battles, food and accommodation while he
preached to his dickhead followers about wanting to kill British soldiers and
Britons in general. Why MI5 just couldn’t do their job is beyond me. Thank fuck
he’s gone. America, treat him 'well.’
Twatability – 10 out of 10
Nick Clegg – He climbed into bed with the devil and now
being fucked hard up the arse on a daily basis by Cameron. That’s right Clegg,
now you know what it feels like for those who voted for you to be fucked right
up the arse. Clegg took part in the first ever live TV debates in the run up to
the General Election and came across as a man if the people…until he turned
against us. Now he is Cameron’s bum boy, bending over whenever required and on
his knees more often than the Pope. Well, Cameron’s cock won’t suck itself will
it?
Twatability – 9 out of 10
Cheryl Cole – The Geordie bint found fame in factory made
Girls Aloud , before becoming a typical dumb arse football WAG by marrying
Ashley Cole. She went on appear endlessly on our screens, most notably in an
advert for a hair product by uttering the words ‘dull, limp, lifeless?’ Sorry
Cheryl, but you fucking married him. She has since gone on to appear on crap
like X-factor, like she can tell a good song when she hears it. Where’s your
solo career?
Twatability – 9 out of 10
Wayne and Colleen Rooney – Granny shagging, wig wearing
Shrek lookalike and his gobshite WAG make the list, beating the likes of Piers
Morgan, Ed Milliband and the South Yorkshire Police, so he must really be
hated. Rooney has been described as the ‘white Pele’, which is almost like
saying Josef Fritzl is the world’s Best Ever Father. Rooney has proved just how
good he is by continually mouthing off to referee’s and getting sent off at
major tournaments, while his wife is just another typical publicity whore,
hellbent on getting her ugly face in as many magazines as possible.
Twatability – 10 out of 10
George Galloway – Former Labour MP who turned his back on
the party in 2005, Galloway is more famous for his anti war rants, TV
appearances and being a general twat. Galloway formed the Respect party after
quitting Labour because of his belief that the war in Iraq in 2003 was wrong.
He has since gone on to gain as much respect as his party – fuck all. He once
decided to appear on Celebrity Big Brother, despite being a serving MP and,
quite crucially, not being a celebrity. Galloway is now MP in Bradford West,
where he continues to be a twat.
Twatability – 10 out of ten
David Cameron and George Osborne – No list of the world’s
worst people is complete without mentioning these two fuckers. David Cameron
and George Osborne, two public schoolboy wankers, getting confused between how
the country should be run and how it is being run. It’s almost like supporting
QPR and thinking they are going to win the league because Julio Cesar thinks it
will happen. Cameron and Osborne are probably the worst thing to happen to this
country since the dynamic duo of Jedward hit our shores. In fact, I think
Jedward would do a better job at running the country. The are such a pair of
tits that when football supporters sing ‘get your tits out for the lads,’ girls
open their coats to show a picture of these two twats staring back.
Twatability – 11 out of 10 - twats
May the force be with you
The Fed Up Jedi
Follow me on Twitter if you want @thefedupjedi or Fed Up Jedi's Facebook page
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