With his team winning the point they needed to remain in the Premier League, Barton threatened to destroy everything his team achieved as he single-handedly attempted to re-ignite the Falklands Conflict by elbowing Carlos Tevez in the face. He then gave Sergio Aguero a kick in the back before attempting to head-butt City captain Vincent Kompany in a desperate attempt to get a City player to retaliate and get a man sent off themselves.
But the FA have confirmed Barton will face no further charges other than the ban for receiving the red card. “We only punish professional footballers,” said an FA spokesman today. “And Joey Barton falls into neither category so cannot be punished.
“We can’t call him a footballer as he can’t tackle, can’t pass and the only running he does is from the police. And, after his performance yesterday, we can hardly call him professional can we? Unless it is immediately followed by the word fuckwit, in which case it would be okay.”
Paul, an avid QPR fan said “It wouldn’t really matter if he was banned for three matches or three months. He’s that shit we hardly notice him on the pitch anyway. In fact, look how the team performed when he’d gone. We almost won it.
"I always suspected he wasn't a real footballer," Paul continued. "But we stuck with him anyway. But now the FA have confirmed our suspicions, we should kick him out. Can we super glue him to the back of Abu Qatada? Everyone will just think it's a unsightly growth on Qatada's back."
Barton’s ridiculous efforts were all in vain and he ended up looking more of a wanker than anyone thought possible as he was escorted from the field by City defender Micah Richards, before almost coming to blows with Mario Balotelli, which would have been an interesting confrontation and it was only Barton cowering behind Richards that stopped Balotelli from getting to him.
But Barton’s antics don’t end there. Shortly after the game, Barton tweeted that he was not bothered and confirmed to the whole world his attempt to get a City player sent off, proving once and for all that he is not in possession of his family’s brain cell. He later went on a rant about Alan Shearer but by that time, no-one on the planet was giving a fuck and refused to waste any more time on the useless tosser.
May the force be with you
Jedi Master Bob
Follow me on Twitter if you want @FedUpJedi or Fed Up Jedi's Facebook page
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