Monday 3 September 2012

Asda In Cheesy Wiggle Shortage Shock

Supermarket giants Asda have admitted they are suffering a severe shortage of cheesy wiggles after several customers complained they could not buy their favourite snack from any Asda stores anywhere.

The popular snack, which is Asda’s very own version of Wotsits, has disappeared from shelves in recent weeks and has prompted fears that the chain had discontinued the product completely.

One customer, who did not want to be name, told us how she was having withdrawal symptoms after being unable to get her hands on her addiction. “It’s been awful,” the distraught lady told us. “I made an online order and the sent me cheesy curls but they’re just not the same. If I’d wanted cheesy curls, I’d have asked for cheesy curls.

“So I sent my husband out to the shop and he came back with cheesy curls as well. I was so annoyed I made him eat every last one to see how he liked them. Then I beat him up.”

One spokesman for Asda refused to comment on the situation and told us to get a proper job and a life, however we spoke to an insider, known only as Malcolm who confirmed there was a shortage and the management knew it was coming.

“They’ve known for ages,” said Malcolm. “But they didn’t want to tell anyone in case people started panic buying, then selling them to addicts on the black market. Cheesy wiggles are highly addictive so a packet of six, which normally retails at about £1.35 could end up costing about £300. It’s silly times we live in.”

Malcolm confirmed that cheesy wiggles are on order and they should be back on the shelves soon. “They’ve had a few supply problems and a van leaving the cheesy wiggle factory last week went missing, but they should have more on the shelves very soon.

“Would you like a bag of Cheesy wiggles, mate?”

The Fed Up Jedi turned down Malcolm’s offer and reported him to the police.

Have you been affected by teh Chesy Wiggle shortage? Does your local Asda still stock them? If so get in touch and tell us your story

May the force be with you

The Fed Up Jedi

Follow me on Twitter if you want @thefedupjedi or Fed Up Jedi's Facebook page

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