Guilty but unpunished war criminal and serial liar Tony
Blair has stated the government should run continuous referendums on Britain’s
EU membership until we arrive at the result that he wants.
The former Prime Minister and George W Bush’s ex fuck buddy,
said the British people must have a chance to change their minds after the
decision to leave the European Union was made in June.
“It’s simply not fair,” cried Blair today. “I worked bloody
hard, bloody hard to sell off our sovereignty to our European masters and spent
many hours on my hands and knees or bent over a table being fucked up the arse
by Angela Merkel and for what? Just so the arseholes that are the British
public can vote us out? Bunch of knob jockeys.“We should keep giving people referendums until we get to the right decision, and by that I mean the decision I want. I don’t care how much it costs. Taking us to an ill-prepared and illegal war in Iraq cost a lot more and this is worth it. We need to keep funding the EU so they can tell us what to do. We can’t think for ourselves.”
Blair’s outburst has catapulted him to the top of what is
known as the Remoaners leaderboard, ousting loud-mouthed freak Eddie Izzard
from the top spot. “I think Tony’s done well to get past me,” said Izzard on
hearing the news. “But I’ve got some shit lined up, I’ll be back at the top
before long. When’s the next Saturday protest I can put my name to?”
However a government source who did not want to be named,
said Blair can say what he wants to whoever he wants, but it won’t make a crap
of difference. “Blair can just fuck right off, and that’s coming from the mouth
of the Prime Minister. Did we have a second vote on going to war in Iraq when
people were against it? No, so the hypocritical wanker can shove his views up
his arse.”
But some members of the public had some, not much, sympathy
for the former PM. “I don’t think Tony realises just how unpopular he is,” said
Tom, a welder from Powys. “I mean, he should have learned by now that, if he
wants something, he should start shouting for the opposite of what he wants but
no, he’s too busy listening to the sound of his own voice.”
Others had less sympathy for him. “He’s a cunt,” said 87
year old Phyllis Mayweather, a retired lexicographer from Buckinghamshire. “And
he should keep his fat mouth shut. The people made a decision that was promised
to be upheld, so Blair can go and fuck himself.”May the force be with you The Fed Up Jedi Follow me on Twitter if you want @thefedupjedi or Fed Up Jedi's Facebook page
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