Cameron’s Testicles Are Still Exceedingly Small, Say Top Tory MP’s

The size of Prime Minister David Cameron’s testicles have been brought into question as top Tory MP’s claim he just hasn’t got the balls to make big decisions.

Now Sooty and Sweep Come Forward in Savile Abuse Scandal

1980’s puppet favourites Sooty and Sweep have finally come forward and revealed how they had suffered abuse for years at the hands, and quite often the cock, of late paedophile Jimmy Savile.

Escape To Britain Where Europe Makes Sure All Terrorists Are Safe

Are you a terrorist or thinking of becoming one? Have you plotted to make bombs and kill innocent people? Are you now on the run from your own government? If the answer to any of these is yes, then escape to Britain, where the European Court of Human Rights will guarantee your safety.

Lest We Forget

The eleventh hour, of the eleventh day, of the eleventh month 1918 - The day the guns on the battlefields of Europe fell silent. Today we honour those fallen in the two Great Wars.

New Earth-Like Planet May Have WMD’s Say Americans

A newly discovered planet, which is supposedly capable of supporting human life, has been targeted for invasion by the American government who suspect any inhabitants may have Weapons of Mass Destruction and could well be deployed against Earth.

Cameron Delighted To Continue Being Obama’s Bitch

Prime Minister David Cameron has spoken of his delight at Barack Obama’s presidential victory and says he is looking forward to continuing the ‘special relationship’ between the two countries, which roughly translated to him being Obama’s bitch until at least the British elections in 2015.

Clattenburg Graduates From Howard Webb Academy Of Biased Refereeing

Referee Mark Clattenburg has finally graduated from the Howard Webb Academy of Biased Refereeing after an impressive display at Stamford Bridge allowed him to pass with top marks this afternoon, well ahead of schedule.

I Wanted To Eat Peasant Food, Says Queen At School Opening

The Queen today visited Drapers Academy in Romford and was treated to a lunch from a menu which included Lamb and dauphinoise potatoes, and asked “Is this really what the peasants eat?”

Pippa Middleton's Arse Launches First Book

Pippa Middleton’s arse, the stand out performer at the Royal wedding in 2011, has launched its first book ‘Celebrate’ today, proving once again that it, and not Pippa Middleton, is the more talented part of her body.

The Great Manchester Earthquake – One Year On

It’s hard to believe that exactly one year ago, a devastating earthquake struck Manchester, dislodging over 60,000 football supporters from their seats while millions across the globe watched on helplessly as 60,000 fans simply vanished in a whisper.