Clattenburg sent off two Chelsea players and allowed a clear
offside goal to stand, decisions that have earned high praise from Manchester
United fans and Webb himself, who said it was a performance worthy of himself.
“It was simply wonderful,” said Webb this evening. “They
were absolutely incredible decisions which not only swung the match in United’s
favour but firmly put Chelsea in their place. Who the fuck did they think they
were having an unbeaten start to the season?”
Clattenburg first red carded Branislav Ivanovic for bringing
down Tom Daley wannbe Ashley Young, before giving Fernando Torres his marching
orders after Johnny Evans brought him down on the edge of the area. But the
crowning glory in Clattenburg’s display was United’s third goal, which was
allowed despite Javier Hernandez being in an offside decision when he scored.
“That was the clincher for me,” said Webb. “I’ve always
given United dodgy decisions, but never one so brave as that, especially at
Stamford Bridge so for Mark to award the ‘goal’ took some guts. I’m deeply
proud of my boy.
“I honestly didn’t expect that level of performance from
Mark until closer to the end of the season, after that I’ve had no option but
to bring his graduation forward a few months.”
And the Academy’s president, Sir Alex Ferguson, praised
Clattenburg’s ingenuity to ensure his team took all three points. “It was
amazing. Mark really fucked them over today. The important thing now is that we
have two referees to rely upon. To be honest, I think Howard was feeling the
pressure a little, but with Mark now on board we should be on course for the
twentieth title that we were robbed of last season.”
And Ferguson confirmed that Clattenburg will not be the last
referee to come from the ranks of Webb’s growing academy. “It’s going well and
there are others who can join us. Graham Poll almost joined us a few years ago
but fucked off to Arsenal instead. Twat.
“But if Howard keeps turning them out in this fashion, I'll have to get a bigger bed soon.”
May the force be with you
Jedi Master Bob
Follow me on Twitter if you want @fedupjedi or Fed Up Jedi's Facebook page
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