Dr Williams, who has been Archbishop for ten years,
regularly meets with the Queen and says that not everyone realises just what a
funny person she is, but said that one day, he almost regretted telling her.
“We were sat having lunch and she cracked an absolute corker
of a joke. I can’t tell you what the joke was, but it was very politically
incorrect. Anyway I just said to her ‘you’re a funny person.’ Suddenly the room
went silent and she stared at me before she said ‘funny how?’
“It was quite scary and I just said ‘you’re just funny,
you’re a funny person.’ The whole room was silent and everyone was staring at
me. Then she just said ‘I do not understand what is so funny about me. Do you
mean funny like a clown? Do I amuse you? I make you laugh? Am I here to amuse
you like some court jester? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?’
“I’d never seen her act like this before then she banged the
table and screamed at the top of her voice ‘HOW THE FUCKING HELL AM I FUNNY?’
“I have to admit that at that point, I truly shit myself.
Then Prince Phillip pissed himself laughing and The Queen admitted she’d seen
that happen on Goodfella’s with Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci and had always wanted
to try it on someone. Afterwards I went to change my trousers and when I came
back they were still laughing about it. Bitch.”
And Dr Williams reveals that The Queen is even funnier after
she’s had a drink. “She can handle a few sherries or wines but after about
three or four glasses, she starts on the jokes. She starts soft then it gets a
bit blue. By the end of the evening, she’s done a complete stand-up routine
that would give some of Britain’s top comedians a run for their money.”
When asked if everyone was laughing because it was The
Queen, Dr Williams said “Get the fuck out of here. The Queen is one of the
funniest people I know. If she could do the comedy circuit, she’d sell out
every night.
“She’s naturally funny. She takes the piss out of Charles,
saying that he’ll die before her and you should have heard the joke she made
about Diana. Fuck me, that was funny. And she calls Edward’s wife a beard
because he’s really gay. She cracks me up.”
As the country begins Diamond Jubilee celebrations, several
truckloads of sherry and wine have been spotted being delivered to Buckingham
Palace. “It’s going to be one hell of a weekend,” said Dr Williams. “And with
The Queen not having to get up for work any time soon, I can see her being
hammered and cracking the jokes for most of it.”
The Queen, live at Buckingham Palace, is out on DVD from
Wednesday.
May the force be with you
Jedi Master Bob
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